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Sky Glass – Kiss My Ass

Sky Glass - Kiss My Ass

Sky Glass – Kiss My Ass

A New Way to Watch TV

Sky Glass starts from £13 a month + £26 a month for Sky Ultimate TV (includes Netflix)

Available in:

Small 43″

Medium 55″

Large 65″

Sky Glass comes with the following Bezel Colours:

Ceramic white

Dusky pink

Racing green

Ocean blue

Anthracite black

My Glass Hell

Three weeks ago the Lennox Family (me) got notification from Sky that our TV package was up for renewal and as part of my Diamond Level Subscription I was able to be one of the first people to the all-new, amazing Sky Glass TV. Now my current TV is about 8 years old, it’s a 55 Inch Sony Bravia with android built-in.

My wife quite liked the idea as she’s a wirephobe and the Dish, Q Box, Soundbar and TV have been the bane of her life since they were put in. She likes a clean, clear room free from distracting cables dangling between devices. The new device seemed perfect, we would get all the programmes and less of the wires etc.

While chatting to the customer service team, I flagged that our TV was a wall-mount and asked if it could be set up to replace my current TV. “Why yes! and it comes with all the kit required to put on the wall straight out the box!”

Sky Panther Calling….

As a techie geek, I bit his hand off and ordered a 19th November deliver, through Sky’s partner Panther (I feel there are Anchorman jokes about Sky Panther being the 2021 version of Sex Panther)

Anchorman Sex Panther Cologne - The Goblin & Sausage
60% of the time, Sky Glass works every time

at 7 pm last Friday, Carlos, the Sky Panther delivery driver appeared with my new toy and I excitedly showed him the space on the wall. “Ah..err… I can remove the packaging and set it up, but not on the wall, only on the stand” Carlos said with a slight scripted lilt. So here we go with Problem No 1

He even called his manager, without me asking, to which she confirmed that for insurance and safety reasons they do not put it on the wall. I called Sky and the customer service rep was confused why I would want a TV on my wall. I asked why Sky places dishes on houses, tracks wires across rooms but doesn’t put 4 anchors in a wall. “Well, we tested it in early trials and decided not to

But your adverts, images and everything all has a TV on a wall? “We suggest only using qualified TV installers to fit it to the wall, I’ll log your comments to the team

Poor Carlos was then faced with my full wrath for doing his job, realising I was being a dick to someone who’s not to blame I thanked him anyway and stared at the giant box all night. The good news is that the whole packaging is recyclable, reducing plastic waste.

Why?

Looking through the package I find the bracket and a large white poster to allow you to place it safely on a wall but no anchors. Sky in their wisdom provides everything, apart from 4 feckin’ screws strong enough for a 23kg TV. After 24 angry hours, eight bruises on my arms and hands and a very grumpy wife (I’ll go into that shortly) we finally got the TV on the wall.

Ahhhhh now to switch on…watch TV and relax with the Epic subwoofer, six speakers built-in for spine-tingling 360° Dolby Atmos® sound.

You Maniacs, You Blew It All Up!

I started my Glass TV journey watching Sky’s Shark series with Steve Backshall. It looked good, bloody good and the sound was amazing. My wife asked if we could check her recordings she had a full series of The Resident as well as 23 other shows all taped on the Q box so wanted them here.. Problem No 2 Sky Glass has no inbuilt HDD. Again, in 2021, why decide to remove one of their key features from their signature product? Sky have decided to turn their TV Service into a streaming service but it’s as intuitive as a potato. Try shouting “HELLO SKY” in a Glaswegian accent to wake up your TV and then getting told I’m sorry I don’t understand you.

Next, I decided to link all my Apps, Netflix was easy it was part of the subscription and saved my details (well done Sky!) Amazon and Disney+ were a bit harder but after a few minutes, we were connected via the handy QR codes and linking features most services provide.

Ten Things I Hate About This TV (Almost)

Problem No 3 Spotify links to your account through a device, but the bozos at Sky haven’t built in a streaming Bluetooth so it took a long, painful resetting of old forgotten passwords to get Music on my TV.

This final linking left me with a sense of fear as I stream Apple TV from an Ipad to my old TV, as well as Plex Live Shows and Pluto TV (which will see a spike in downloads in the UK tonight due to Start Trek Disco only showing on it.)

Problem No 4 means the idiots at Sky’s development team have decided in 2021 that nobody needs to stream anything to their top of the range, expensive TV. The short-sightedness of this decision alone will stop many people from buying it. If you use any of Google’s thousands of TV apps then don’t buy Sky Glass, you’ll just have to waste £30 on a Chromecast to dangle from the side of their perfect set. With Android as the defacto app store for most TVs, why have Sky decided to limit the streaming options?

I don’t think this needs Bluetooth or Airplay, that’s so old fashioned!

My family came round to see the TV and while in the kitchen the dulcet tones of my mother in law drafted in “Hello Sky, QVC, QVC, start QVC!!!” I came in to be told the TV was broken as it didn’t have the crappy channels she likes to watch, like the shopping channels. My father in law kindly chipped in “It doesn’t seem to have any Porn channels either!”

Perplexed, I searched for these channels myself and on a Sky Forum, I found Problem No 5 Sky only decided to put 30 channels from Freeview on its service. Sky the hint is on the name FREE means FREE even if they are crap, pervy or boring they should be there. Here’s a list of what they offer and below is a list of all that is missing.

Steve Jobs would be very upset that Apple is not one of the Top Streaming 30 Apps
Did You even know These Channels Existed?

Slow-Clap

Sky Glass could have been great, with no wires but all the benefits of a normal TV (and more.) I do not recommend it at the moment until it has more channels, more apps, Bluetooth, Airplay and Wall Installation as standard. Unless you want to only watch Netflix, Amazon, Disney or Sky do not buy it at this stage. I predict within 12-15 months Sky will have to cave in to develop its own streaming app to fully link into the market they want. Until then SKy Glass can Kiss My Hairy Scottish Ass!

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Michael Lennox

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T'was a cold dark night in East Kilbride... and below the roundabouts, something old and ancient began to shudder awake. The world would rue the day that it gave the Green Jaguar comics to read!

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